Hope Can Drive a Man Insane

Take it away, Leonidas:



...

Aww. He's so nervous he reversed the words. Just like John Roberts!

March Madness is here! There's something on TV all day! Yaaaaaay!

Like I often do on food, I may have overdone it with the brackets. I've spent two hours filling brackets, and now there's eight of them. A veritable litter of brackets. I feel like the Octomom, except without the distended [censored].

Obviously the biggest conflict is whether to choose Cornell or not. Three against a Fourteen seed, which has happened before. Also, we have God on our side. And Missouri may have given the world Brad Pitt but we gave the world Bill Nye. So not only do we have the Creator on our side, we also have the Science (Guy).

But this is a terrible match-up. Missouri is good. They're in your face the entire game, pressing like maniacs. Cornell lives and dies by the three-point shot, and those are going to be difficult to get off in the face of constant pressure. Cornell's going to have to be fast, and they're going to have to be hot. Epically hot. If they do that, maybe, just maybe they have a shot.

In the words of some guy:

"Pole dancing without the removal of clothes is like Ivy League basketball — all fundamentals, no dunks. Not that I wanted them to take off their clothes. Some were older than my mom."

So yeah, we have it about as tough as you can have it. But, you know what? Miracles do happen. Just like the virgin on prom night hopes that what hasn't happened to him for four years will happen tonight, Cornellians are packing their pockets full of rubbers. And they're all Magnums.

Go big or go home, baby.

Let's do this!