I do quite a bit of cardio in the mornings, in order to keep the tires from rolling. Cardio is, however, an exercise in tedium. It is exactly akin to a hamster running on a wheel, going nowhere, just trying to achieve improving results.
One of the ways to fight the tedium is to watch TV. If the TVs in the gym had ESPN or CNN, things would be great. Unfortunately, they only carry the networks and the religious channels. And while the Today show can occasionally be entertaining, they lose me somewhere around the umpteenth mention of yoga and how to get the most nutritional value out of a cantaloupe-and-melon diet.
So I bring DVDs. Right now, I'm working my way through Curb Your Enthusiasm. And it's a terrific show, don't get me wrong. But it has a million scenes like this. And there is ample scienctific evidence that one is at thier most suggestible in the early hours of the morn, right before your brain wakes up.
So, for the rest of the day, my inner Larry David makes more and more frequent appearances. I find myself a victim of circumstance. I pick fights for no reason. I say incredibly offensive things without thinking. I don't know when to stop. Every little thing annoys me. Basically, I turn into a schmuck. I do schmucky things.
I could stop watching the show in the morning. But I'm halfway through it, and my OCD compels me to finish it. I must see it through.
Hope, however, is on the horizon. This summer, Hulu comes to the iPhone.
This might be the best news I've gotten all month. Now I can catch up on Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert in the morning. Granted, I'll become inordinately afraid of bears -- a development which might hinder my work on the Snakes on a Plane sequel, Bears on a Boat -- but at least I'll be entertained.
Plus, this will never happen to me:
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