Burn the Tower

We just received the following email from the Dean's office:

Hello,
Just an update—
Cigarettes that have not been fully extinguished have been causing small brush fires. Because these brush fires have been located near the intake vents for the school, they have filled the building with smoke. We are aware of the issue and are trying to fix the situation, but we need your help. If you smoke, please make sure you extinguish your cigarette fully and properly dispose of the waste.
Thank you.
Dean’s Office Staff

Two things. If these were unintentional fires, as the emails assume, I find no other alternative than to immediately blame the LLMs. I hereby request that, in light of their negligence, they be immediately sent to another building to study. This will not only free our lungs of smoke, but will also free our stairwells from inconsiderate people blocking them constantly.

If, however, someone out there was deliberately trying to set the tower on fire right before exams, come on. You can do better than that. Please.