The Office Drinking Game

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to present to you, for your enjoyment, the greatest TV show drinking game known to man. Originated by the fine folks at 216 Delaware, the Office Drinking Game, or ODG for short, is a true testament to the continuous drinking that rational people regard with two parts envy to five parts apprehension.

Ideally, this game is played with a 40, the object being to finish it during the show. Those not finished have to chug at the end, so no sissy sips, please.

When do you drink? When do you not? Below, the rules.

Unless otherwise noted, drink every time:

Michael:
does something inappropriate
references his troubled childhood
expresses contempt for Dwight
makes a bad metaphor
compares the office to a family
says 'that's what she said'

Dwight:
says 'question' or 'fact'
sucks up to Michael
mentions Schrute Farm/beets/cousin Mose/some distant relative
exaggerates his own abilities
references his Nazi heritage
mentions being a volunteer deputy sheriff
references missing Angela

Jim:
says something sarcastic
plays a prank
looks at the camera
walks up to the reception desk

Pam:
has to cover for Michael
colludes in a prank
references her design skills

Ryan:
looks at the camera
gets hit on by Michael
is referred to as "fire(d) guy"

Stanley:
is the subject of racism
rolls his eyes
does the crossword

Kevin:
does something perverted
mentions his band Scrantonicity
talks about cooking the books
is considered mentally challenged

Angela:
does something judgmental
talks about her cats
freezes out Andy
hooks up with Dwight

Meredith:
drinks, or someone mentions her alcoholism
flashes someone

Phyllis:
mentions Bob Vance
is made fun of for her weight
reminds Michael he is her age

Oscar:
is made fun of for being gay

Kelly:
acts ditsy
talks about loving/missing Ryan
tries to win him back

Creed:
does something weird/creepy/homeless/criminal

Jan:
talks to employee besides Michael
acts insane
reference to her boob job

Andy:
sings a cappella
calls Jim 'big tuna'
clashes with Dwight
represses anger
hits on a co-worker

Toby:
clashes with or is belittled by Michael
tries to hit on Pam
has a "Charlie Brown" moment

Darryl:
makes fun of or intimidates Michael
hits on Kelly

Other Rules:

Todd Packer appears (drink continuously)
Mention of another Stamford branch
Mention of the party planning committee
Someone plays a prank on Dwight
Jim and Pam have an awkward moment
Michael and Jan have an awkward moment
Michael and Holly have an awkward moment
Kelly and Ryan have an awkward moment
Dwight and Angela have an awkward moment
Meeting in the conference room (2 drinks)
Bob Vance makes an appearance/makes a plug for Vance Refrigeration (2 drinks)
Reference to Dunder Mifflin tanking/downsizing/losing market share to Staples and Office Depot (2 drinks)
Scrantonicity plays - SHOT
Character quits or somehow leaves the show - SHOT
Character who was gone (Roy, Karen, Toby) returns - SHOT
Cornell is mentioned - SHOT

And, of course, there's a catch-all provision. Every time something happens that deserves a drink, drink. It's a Thursday night, after all. And that 40 is not going to drink itself.

Happy ODG viewing.