The Great Depression II: The Greatest Depression claimed another victim today, in the form of the BU Halloween Party. Reporters on the ground have confirmed that there is a shortage of tickets to the annual extravaganza, and that more than half the school will be unable to attend the bonanza.
Unofficial polls show that more than half the 2L class was unable to acquire tickets, and that no more will be produced or distributed. Clinging to masks and fake mustaches, hundreds lined the Tower of Terror, hat in hand, in the hope that more tickets would be available.
"I went to this last year," a 2L, who wishes to remain anonymous, remarked. "And it was the most drinking I did during the last half of the second half of October. And now they tell me there's not enough tickets, and that I can't go."
Party-less, students have resorted to desperate measures, such as robbery, counterfeiting, and scalping. So far the scalping has proved successful, despite the efforts of local Jew Marc Shapiro, who failed to live up to his heritage when he sold something at cost.
Many have started to pack up, based on rumors of available tickets to Halloween Parties elsewhere. "We're headed West alright," said a local woman, as she loaded her worldly possessions into her buggy. "Harvard wouldn't accept us two years ago, but I heard that there's always booze left over at their parties. So we're heading west, see if things are better out there."
In what many call a preventable tragedy, many students have clearly gone insane, and are contemplating whether to stay in on Halloween night. Authorities wish to make it clear that such dire actions are unwarranted, and advise those who contemplate such a course of action to seek professional help immediately.
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