It's Always Sunny in Las Vegas

Last night, I sent the following email to a motley crew of barbarians who (mostly) used to sully the good name of journalism at Cornell. Currently, 6 of the 10 invitees have confirmed, with that number expected to rise. Needless to say, I am beyond excited.

Gentlemen,

I hope this finds you happy and well, engaging in both the intentional and unintentional destruction of property in whatever state has the misfortune of harboring you as a resident.

I know I haven't talked to some of you in a while. Some I haven't even had the fortune to meet. Yet, if the legends are true, [redacted], you and I will get along very well.

Most of you have heard about this, but, for those who haven't, this coming summer will bear witness to the irascible Mr. [redacted]'s entry into the hallowed institution of matrimony. As such, it is my belief that he deserves a rousing send-off.

And what better way to do that than to have this esteemed group descend upon the magical city of Las Vegas for a weekend?

So I send this as a save the date, so you can write into your calendar "Sun in Vegas" and begin to set things in motion to lead up to this event. You know, start saving, planning for time off, saying goodbye to loved ones, and drafting a last will and testament. This will also give everyone a chance to get a good criminal lawyer on retainer, just in case someone manages to kill a hooker (looks directly at [redacted]).

We are looking at the weekend of February 20-22nd.

Flights there are relatively cheap right now .... [money stuff] ... Then, of course, incidentals such as food, booze and women should be factored in, according, of course, to one's excesses and tolerance.

I would suggest picking one hotel and sticking to it. Once we decide on a hotel, I can call the hotel and try to block off 4 or 5 rooms, to serve as our headquarters and to ensure that medical attention and friends with shovels are never more than a connecting door away.

And that should be it. Once we have a hotel settled, everyone makes their own arrangements to get there, arriving sometime during Friday the 20th and planning to depart on Sunday the 22nd. I'll make more arrangements as time goes on, but let's start there.

Cheers,
Signed

I like to see this trip as a heightened version of the fried Twinkie. There's fear before it happens, yes, and the latent possibility of death or worse things. Ultimately, your body, your friends and your family will be the ones to pay. Objectively, this might be the worst idea ever.

However, that is all mitigated by the certainty that, despite everything else, this will turn out to be something we'll never forget because it is a rite of passage every man should experience-- something, in the end, that will bring all of us (literally and figuratively) just a bit closer to heaven.