Monday, December 8, 2008

You Mean You're Pregnant ... With a Baby?

Caitlin got the following email message this morning from one of the members of her study group:
"I can't make it to the presentation today--I'm having contractions and I have to slow them down."
Yes, she's having a baby! Or, as it's also known, the best excuse for why you didn't show up to the final.

One would imagine that having a baby during finals is just pretty damn unfortunate timing. Just imagine trying to get into a study group. As Caitlin said, "When we all saw she was 5 months pregnant at the start of the semester, everyone did the math and was like...um I guess we can't really count on you too much."

And the mood swings must be epic. We're talking C-minus-on-a-final despondent to I-just-slept-with-Heidi-Klum happy to Charlie-Brown-was-based-on-me depressed. During finals, this can prove distracting.

However, pregnancy can also be a boon, and here's why. It could be a tremendous distraction. Imagine you're being graded on a curve, so you want every advantage you can get over the next person. And you're sitting in class, typing furiously, spotting more issues than a Jewish grandmother evaluating her granddaughter's new goysiche boyfriend. And then you feel something wet under your foot, and it's because Preggo Peg's water just broke. How can you even think about the NAFTA Chpt. 11 rules after that?

Pregnancy can also be a great excuse for why you tanked a final. Suppose you write on the exam, "Sorry, professor, that I couldn't fully explain the discounted cash flow method of accounting, but a little human being is emerging from my unmentionables." I figure that this at least gets you partial credit.

All in all, pregnancy sounds like a great excuse, one I might try to use. Think they'll buy it?

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