The Fourth PANIC

And also, blessed be the cheese makers, the Final PANIC.

Today marked my last day in the library. I will not set foot in it again this year. Unless, of course, we return from the bar and try to set fire to it, thinking that we can get away under cover of snow. My attorneys, however, have advised me against that.

I have my corporations final tomorrow morning. According to the forecast, we'll go into this exam and everything will be nice and dry and normal. And then we'll come out, and it'll be a desolate, frozen hellscape where nothing moves and nothing lives, not even hope.

I really hope this is not a bad omen.

Tundra conditions, however, will not be enough to stop us from going out and enjoying our freedom. About two thirds of our classmates were done today, and reports started trickling in of them at bars, buying shots, carrying pitchers, yelling at each other, and celebrating like free men. Meanwhile, I was sitting in the library, teaching myself about the wonder of the derivative suit. And the desire to throw my book away and go join them. Was. Over. Whelm. Ing.

But LOCKDOWN will be over tomorrow, at long last, and we will emerge blinking into the light. We had some casualties. Namely, our legal careers and our sense of carefree innocence. But we, at least, shall be alive, a testament to the capacity of man to live through the hardest of times, survive the bleakest of conditions, and endure.

And so I leave you with the words of battle, imparted to the world by a wise man long ago, a man who fell as a casualty of the war against finals:

"Because in less than an hour, law students from here will join others from around the country. And we will be launching the largest battle against finals in the history of mankind. Mankind -- that word should have new meaning for all of us today. Perhaps it is fate that today is the 18th of December, and we will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression or persecution -- but from final examinations.

"We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the 18th of December will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when law students declared in one voice: 'We will not go soberly into the night! We will not vanish without a shot! We're going to get drunk! We're going to imbibe!' Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!"