The Second PANIC

Legit PANIC. Legit, run into a wall panic.

M&A final, Monday morning, closed book. I am studying and still finding words I have never seen before. My notes make no sense. My eye is twitching.

I was also my understanding that there would be no math.

Instead, we have to bring a calculator to the exam. A calculator. I haven't used one of these since the 11th grade. I don't even own a calculator. I had to borrow one from Wernick. And, to top it off, I don't know how to work the calculator I borrowed. In the 11th grade, when I had to buy one, I specifically avoided this one. Why? Because I was using it in the store, just playing with it, and and I couldn't get two plus two to equal four. No matter how much I tried, two plus two equaled something like -1.7363 to the e power. WHAT THE HELL IS e? e IS NOT A NUMBER! WHAT HAPPENED TO FOUR? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO CONNECT IF THERE IS NO FOUR?

(Loses Composure)

(Runs into Wall)

(Picks self up)

(Deep Breath)

An exam I don't understand, closed book, for four hours, with a calculator I'm too dumb to work. I might take Marc's advice and go jump off something and land on both wrists. But I probably won't. This time, I'm like the coyote watching a falling anvil. Except it's an actual coyote, not the Looney Tunes coyote, and it's an actual two-ton anvil, not the ACME brand piece of crap. So bye-bye coyote. For good.

So farewell, dear friends.

Avenge me.