I guess even our generation's Nostradamus (seriously, the only thing left for this guy to predict is the date Manny will be Manny again) didn't see this one coming.
We all know the Jackson Five manager gave each member his or her own share of crazy, lavishing extra generous portions on Michael. What we didn't realize is that the up-until-now-less-memorable Marlon saved all his crazy until now.
Michael Jackson's brother Marlon is putting the finishing touches on a deal in Nigeria that will create the first hybrid Jackson Five Gift Shop/Slavery Theme Park.
Yes, a theme park. Like Disneyland. Except the theme isn't a mouse with red pants. The theme is slavery. Fun for the whole family!
Every time I try to imagine what a ride at this theme park might be like, I feel incredibly racist. The theme park will reportedly feature "a theme park with a slave ship replica, along with casinos, shops, a golf course and condominiums ... [as well as] memorabilia from the glory years of the Jackson Five." Oh, and hologram images and concert footage. The press release does not specify which one of those two is dedicated to slavery and which one to Tito Jackson.
There is no possible way this can go wrong. The Holocaust Water Park and Tito Puente Museum is living proof of this, enjoying its tenth year of popularity and profitability in Areyoueffincrazyville.
Before getting their pills from Nurse Ratched, the investment group behind the plan claimed that this development will help the growth of tourism in Nigeria. Now I really want to have kids so I can take them there. And we can make that our second stop, right after we visit that deposed Nigerian Queen whose husband owes me money.
I mean, honestly, Papa Jackson. WTF?
1 comment:
...I heard you were one of the high bidders during the Neverland auction...
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