After yesterday's Hans Moleman imitation, I received good news today in that the mole was benign and no more dangerous than Dennis Kucinich in a fistfight. I am compeltely healthy* and now all I have to deal with is the hole in my forehead, which everyone seems to think came from a birthday bar fight. But the hole, unlike the tattoo of Snoopy I got on my [redacted], will go away eventually. So yay.
*Liver excluded
The reason I hate going to doctors is that they inevitably ask questions I don't want to answer.
Doctor: So do you smoke?
Charlie: Nope.
D: Do drugs?
C: No.
D: Drink?
C: Yes.
D: You drink?
C: Yes.
D: How much would you say you drink?
C: ... a lot.
D: How much is a lot?
C: Too much?
D: That's not an answer. Give me a number.
C: I honestly don't know.
D: Then count.
C: It really is a lot.
D: OK. Per week, what are we talking about here?
C: Um...
D: Five?
C: (Laughs)
D: Ten? ... Fifteen? ... Twenty?
C: Um...
D: More than twenty a week? Thirty?
C: ...
D: (Concerned) More?
C: (Shrugs)
D: (Kind of amazed and repulsed at the same time) Wow.
C: We play a lot of beer pong ...
D: Hold on, I have some brochures I need to give you.
3 comments:
Carlos, something you need to learn about how things work here in America: When you go to the doctor, never, ever, ever tell him the truth about your behavior. Ever. When he asks if you drink alcohol, you have two options:
1)I occasionally have a glass of wine with dinner (if pressed, no more than 3 glasses per week)
2)Sometimes I'll have a beer when I'm watching football/baseball - yes, just one.
It's a little skit that we put on with them that's been going on for many years. The actors don't understand why they are playing these parts, but they know that they must not break character.
jajajaja a mi me ha pasado lo mismo varias veces jejejejeje... ahhh que wey
jajaja
yo estoy igual
saludos, amigo
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