The Great Siege of Collegetown

One of the more terrible news items yesterday involved Cornell University. What in common parlance was referred to as The Bar had its liquor license suspended for ten days. In a stunning development, Rulloff's, incredibly, tragically, catastrophically, cannot serve alcohol for ten full days.

Granted, this is not permanent. An order permanently enjoining The Bar from dispensing life blood to hundreds of thirsty citizens would be nothing short of apocalyptic. Thankfully, this did not happen, and all we are left with is a ten day siege in which people have to find something else to do on any given night.

Rulloff's was a bar I went to every day. Literally, without exaggeration, every day of the week. And I was not alone. Everyone went there, and it was one of the great pleasures of college to know you could walk into Rulloff's on any given night and know who to expect, when to expect them, and how drunk they'd probably be. That and $2 Dos Equis. With the possible exceptions of the Sun office and perhaps Olin Cafe, I cannot think of a place I miss more from college. Which is why this news hit me so hard. And, for the record, I was not crying for six hours. It just rained. On my face. For six hours.

I mean, what the hell would I do if I was in Ithaca right now and could not go to Rulloff's for ten days? I mean, I could go anyway, but without beer, the place would hardly be the same. It'd be like Nachos without cheese. Law students without anxiety. Drinking without crying. This is change we can't believe in.

Admittedly, I could have just refrained from going and used ten days to detox and do homework. This would have not only helped my GPA, but would also have helped forestall the four day quasi-coma I suffered through the week after graduation. But let's face it. Senior year I wasn't doing anything anyway and college is so short you can't really afford to take a night off.

So I guess I could have just gone to another bar, but God. Isn't that like cheating on your wife just because she has mono? This would be betrayal of Farve-ian proportions.

Plus, I keep getting these visions. Going to the Palms at 10 and kind of just sitting there, wondering where the hell everyone is and what that smell could mean, all while paying egregious prices that escalate by the hour. We could go to Johnny O's, but, um, no. Dino's would be an option, if the sketchy owner wasn't dating a high school girl and thus obliged to let in girls who are not only underage, but also illegal. Dunbar's is nice, but not let's go there 10 nights in a row nice. And Chapter House, well, do you really want to walk up that hill at 1 a.m.?

The thought of no Rulloff's for almost two weeks is almost too unbearable to, um, bear. Tomorrow, I will pour one out for the temporary loss of so eminent an establishment. And praying. Oh my God, I'll be praying so hard, even Jesus will be uncomfortable. But, after a couple of $5 pitchers, the big guy will probably understand why.