Classholes Assemble!

This is something that has bothered me for a while.

Every law school in this country has students who pride themselves in being insufferable know-it-alls. Always ready to venture the wrong answer, they happily volunteer information, marching resolutely with hands raised high towards the collective hatred of everyone else.

In polite conversations, students at most law schools call them gunners. At the tower of terror, we call them classholes. And isn't that a much better term? Isn't it more descriptive, more evocative, more representative of them, that certain special class of assholes? Doesn't it just roll off the tongue? And it can be a chant! As soon as one raises his hand, across the room, ever growing:

Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasshole! Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasshole! Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasshole!

Unfortunately, a quick survey of people across other law schools confirmed that, not only did they use the term "gunner," they'd never even heard of classholes. And, as Manji said, gunner is time-tested and traditional. But gunner sounds to me like an expendable sidekick in a Clint Eastwood movie. Which would be completely awesome. And that's exactly why the term "gunner" is wrong, because it shouldn't have a connotation even remotely resembling the guy who helps Dirty Harry put bullet holes in people.

Manji, in his infinite wisdom, has taken to pronouncing it as "goon-air." Why? "Because it sounds French, so it makes it worse." I completely agree with this sentiment and applaud the effort. For those refusing to give up the term, it's certainly a viable course of action.

However, I am asking people at other law schools to help spread the lore of the classhole. Try it out. Tell your friends. Spread the word, gentlemen. Tell them how to bring those sonsofbitches down.