Marc is right. It's like a war out there, and the U-Haul trucks keep rolling like the Germans into Warsaw. Word just came in of the Great Staples Massacre of '08, and my wallet, after the Battle at the Bookstore, has sustained heavy casualties.
But at least there's a BBQ today. And this, time, unlike Memorial Day, we're prepared.
See, way back when on Memorial Day, we had no idea that, in Massachusetts, it is illegal to sell liquor on holidays. A lot of stuff that has to do with drinking is illegal here, incredibly, despite the population of Italians and Irish.
So there we were, hands in pockets, bewildered, with a BBQ starting in an hour and the door to our local beer dispensary locked.
We had three options. Break in. Drive to New Hampshire to buy beer. Or make us of what we had in our collection.
Breaking in, as many lawyers will tell you, is against the law. More importantly, it would get us banned from the liquor store. So that's out.
Driving to New Hampshire, well, that was just really far away.
And so it came to be, that on Memorial Day, we were grilling whilst drinking Vodka and Wine. It wasn't bad, but a little strange. Unfortunately, we lost many a sausage to our impaired senses. Fingers, it seems, don't respond as well to commands given from a liquor-addled brain instead of the marginally more useful beer-addled brain. But at least we did not suffer the indignity of grilling while sober, which would have been unAmerican.
Now, we bought the beer yesterday. This preemptive strike should serve well, although I do have to do homework later, given that, well, it's a school night. Alas.
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