Election Coverage Quick Hits

Random thoughts and things I liked about tonight's coverage:

1. The whole process is tremendous. I love love love watching election night coverage. It's like watching 50 football games at once. And they all count.

2. The future is NOW! The CNN hologram is tremendous. They're "beaming" reporters into the studio so they can talk to them. Just like Star Wars. Anyone catch Will.I.am. wandering around the studio? What a wonderfully useless piece of technology. I look forward to the next election, when they'll do it Matrix-style and have people with plugs in the back of their heads so they can channel reporters from all over the world.

3. I love it when a trillion states close their polls at the top of the hour. Like, for example, 15 states closed at 8 p.m. You get the overly dramatic music. You get Wolf Blitzer looking like the cat who swallowed the canary. And then, all of a sudden, Obama goes from 3 to 88. All you can do is sit there, dazed, and think, wow, things escalated quickly. I mean, they really got out of hand in a hurry.

4. Campbell Brown.

5. Why on Earth do the CNN folks insist on comparing Obama to Kerry's results in 2004? I understand the significance of claiming new blue states from those that ran red four years ago. But Kerry and Obama could not be more different. It's like comparing Miles Davis and Michael Bolton.

6. I love the release and the elation when a battleground state goes your way. It's like scoring a touchdown. Right now, the Green Man just went long in Pennsylvania. Actually, to be more precise, it was like the Green Man, playing defense, just knocked down McCain's Hail Mary pass.

7. Dana Bash, who was covering the McCain get-together at the Biltmore in Phoenix, looks like she's covering a funeral. Heck, when they called Ohio, the McCain people turned off the TV. All of a sudden, they turned into that little kid who puts his fingers in his ears and goes Lalalalala.

8. The networks are really rubbing it in by refusing to call places like Texas and even frickin' Arizona for McCain. All the while I'm wondering, while worrying about a jinx, if the networks are being overtly cautious because they know it's a landslide, and they know it's way too early in the evening, and that they still have ads to run. But at what point will they just face reality and switch from the "maybe McCain can pull out a miracle" storyline to the "how big will this win be" storyline? Just say it, people. Stop pussy-footing around. You're dropping more hints than a drunk prom date. Just drop your pants already.

9. That last metaphor was going great until the end.

10. Ten points to Anderson Cooper for asking the Republican pundits: "Do you still have any hope, like, do you think you can maybe pick up one seat in Louisiana? Is that what's keeping you from drinking right now?" This was at 9:05.

11. Seeing Giuliani reminded me of this video we just saw in class. It features Giuliani circa 1989, with his toupee in all its awful, horrifying glory. I wish I could find a picture of it. It looks like one of the seagulls victimized by the Exxon Valdez came back to life and then flew all the way to New York just to die on Rudy Giuliani's head. It's glorious.

12. Fox (!) called Ohio for Obama. At this point, you have to call the whole enchilada for Obama. Giving Obama California, Washington, and Oregon, McCain would have to carry every other state. I'm calling it, doctor. McCain campaign's Time of Death? 9:19.

13. The slow realization that this is becoming exactly like the clinching game in last year's NBA playoffs. Remember? Boston led L.A. 24-20 after the first quarter. After the second, 58-35. After the third? 89-60. Final Score? 131-92. And everywhere in Boston, people knew. They weren't saying it, but they knew. The entire second half was one huge celebration, people jumping up and down, hugging, high-fiving. I'd be surprised if people tonight, like they counted down to the buzzer, don't count down the seconds until the polls close in California and the networks can officially call it for Obama.

14. And Boom goes the dynamite. Just like I predicted, it barely hits eleven when they called it for your next President, Barack Obama. Wake up the kids, people. History is afoot tonight. Now let's go flip some cars.