Lost and Found

On or around the 25th of August, I finally succumbed to temptation and started watching Lost.

At long last, three months later, I have watched every episode in order, and have come to the end of season five.

I am now all caught up and no longer have to close my eyes and chant LALALALA every time Lost is mentioned on TV or the internet.

It is really hard to try to get into an incredibly popular show five years after it came on the air and remain spoiler free.

By the way, if you haven't watched it and think that maybe someday you will, this is where you close your eyes and go LALALALA, although I'd whisper if I were you and I were in the library, or class.

This is what I knew about the show before I started watching it:

A bunch of people crashed on an island and found polar bears and a monster made out of smoke. They fought some people called The Others, who, I assumed, were other people on the island who perhaps owned the polar bears. There was a hatch. A guy was paralyzed and then suddenly he was not paralyzed. A hobbit played a crack addict and was later killed off. A bunch of them got off the island and then wanted to go back. The island could move and you could only find it if you followed an invisible path without straying from a thin and narrow line. The island also moved through time.

It still sounds as preposterous now as it did back then, before I started watching it. Don't get me wrong, it's a great show -- I am now as addicted as a common junkie and can't wait for it to come back on the air.

I mean, it just has so many OH SHIT moments. Remember when Michael shot Ana Lucia and Libby? OH SHIT. Or when Sayid shot the young Ben Linus? OH SHIT. Or when The Others kidnapped Walt and shot Sawyer? OH SHIT. Or when it turns out Bernard is white? OH SHIT.

It does have some great moments. The opening scene when we find out there's a crazy Scottish guy in the hatch? Or when Jack is shown playing football with The Others? Or when it turns out The Others are living in a nice little village on the island? Or when we find out depressed Jack with the beard is around three years after they leave the island? Or when Arzt explodes?

BUT GODDAMNIT WHY DID THEY HAVE TO TRAVEL THROUGH TIME?

Seriously, every time anyone throws time travel into the equation it just screws everything up. I mean, I understand how it makes for a handy narrative technique -- we don't know when or where we are so everything can be a surprise and maybe we get to see Juliet again. But you know you're treading on thin ice when hey have to call in Hurley as a surrogate to ask the questions we are all asking only to have everybody shrug and says, I don't know, just roll with it.

But you know what? I'll give it to them because it's an interesting show and they have some great characters and even if it meanders it still tells a great story. Plus, there are so many questions.

What happens after the bomb explodes? Why does that guy not age? Who is pretending to be Locke? Why introduce Jacob and kill him off immediately? Did those bastards really have to kill off Juliet? Where are Claire and her baby? When did Sawyer become so much better than Jack? Why are Jin and Sun so boring? Has Sayid ever smiled? Why doesn't Hurley lose weight? Why is Kate so hot? How good are Desmond and Ben Linus? Are we done traveling through time?

And most importantly, didn't this use to be a show about people stranded on an island trying to figure out how to get food and water? What the hell happened?