I'm on a Boat!

This weekend found our hero in New Seabury on Cape Cod for a beach weekend.

There, I was introduced to a wonderful game called dodgebeer, started several fires, and upended an entire bottle of BBQ sauce over a friend's white shirt. I ate and drank my body weight in beer, hamburgers and chips. We found out how many times you can say "I'm on a boat!" whilst lounging on a boat before it gets old (It never does). I also found out the difference between alcoholics and stoners by witnessing the reactions of each group after nearly dying on the boat -- whereas we alkies came ashore and endured a mild freak-out with the wonderful earnestness common to those three sheets to the wind, the stoners got off the boat and walked to their towels and lay down and fell asleep.

And, in a moment that made me go, of course, the police showed up because of a noise complaint. This follows me around everywhere I go. I am convinced that in a prior life I ran a factory that manufactured screams and loud noises, and karma has now forced me to endure the authorities whenever we start having too much fun.

In the weekend's shocking twist, however, the policeman was actually affable and joked with us. After he realized that we weren't making that much noise, he waved off our offer to go back inside and told us to enjoy the evening. When this information got through my head and I realized that a cop ordered us to stay outside and drink, I became convinced that heaven was real, and it was located on Cape Cod.

To cap the weekend off, we returned to Boston on Sunday evening and kept driving, heading all the way up to Gloucester, where we boarded a free booze cruise courtesy of Cornell. Whenever you're on two different boats on two different days, you know life has been kind.

Now I am more tired than I have ever been in my life and want to crawl under my desk and die quietly.

It was worth it.