The Longest Beer Run

I regret to inform my readers that I did not participate in this year’s beer marathon due to a lack of soldiers. As this is a team effort, groups of two or three are not recommended, given the exigencies of going to 26 bars in one day.

I urge anyone participating to avoid the mistake we made last year. Before we started in on the marathon at high noon, we decided to pregame, and quaffed Tequila Sunrises on the roof.

Of course, pregaming for a beer marathon is like running a 5K before an actual marathon. My body, which already hated me because of the stress on it that it knew was coming, now really effing loathed me because I thought it would be a good idea to drink tequila before going to over two dozen bars.

So, of course, my body took measures into its own hands. Sometime in the middle of the afternoon, my body refused to comply with any more orders and summarily shut itself down, mostly for precautionary measures as a means of survival.

While this may have been the correct decision in both the long and short haul, my party center still resents everyone involved in the proceedings, and things are now really awkward in the uber-polluted ecosystem that is the inside of my body.