Starting for tonight's Phillies, Antonio Bastardo!
Yes, really. The article tactfully points out that this poor schmuck's name is actually like that of a well-known Portuguese grape used to make mediocre wine.
Apr, perhaps, particularly because he pitches for the Phillies. In my experience, however, Bastardo is what Mexicans yell at referees, bosses, and other people who generally annoy them.
In 200 years, when they see his headstone, kids are going to get the giggles. Perhaps not the most appropriate activity at the graveyard, but, well, (giggles).
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