A buddy of mine will be taking the GREs in the near future. As part of his training, he has to endure practice questions during his study. While doing so, he came across the following gem, which he kindly passed on:
4. LAWYER : COURTROOM ::
a. participant : team
b. commuter : train
c. gladiator : arena
d. senator : caucus
e. patient : ward
Of course, my first instinct was to go with E. Remember that ward is just a nice way of saying loony bin. If there is anything in the world that accurately describes our legal system, it is the image of crazy people flapping their arms and squawking endlessly inside a nuthouse.
Unfortunately, I would have been wrong. The correct answer, I was informed, is actually C. This means that the makers of the GRE, in their infinite wisdom, have decided that there is a more sound logical leap from lawyer to gladiator than there is from lawyer to schizo.
To even group someone like me in the same category as someone who killed tigers with a spiked mace is to spit in the face of reason, logic, and the power of human observation. My analogizing of the end of college to a dead girlfriend was infinitely less tortured than what the testmakers are asking you to do here.
If I came across this question in the GRE and was told that Lionel Hutz has more in common with Maximus than he does with Charlie Kelly, I would immediately leap from my chair and raise hell until someone at the GRE Board was relieved of their duties.
Some would say that I picked the right profession. I would say that I have just proved my point.
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