So I was at the gym this afternoon and Family Feud ended, which is fine, because that show lost all its dignity and gravitas upon the departure of J. Peterman.
And then another show came on. And I swear that, when I saw what was happening on the screen (there is no sound, just closed captioning), I thought that it was a news report about how a joint convention of spastics and epileptics was crashed by a supervillain who forced them to watch Japanese anime until they all collapsed in a twitching, screaming heap.
Of course that couldn't be it. And then I saw her and it all made sense.
Dear Sweet Lord in Heaven. All these women were crying and shrieking and fainting and waving their hands and jumping up and down and generally carrying on like ... well ... nothing I've ever seen before.
In fact, let me present a list that I like to call "Groups of people who can handle their shit better than the Oprah audience." Presented in descending order of keeping it together-ness.
1. Nerds when they see George Lucas
2. Followers of Steve Jobs.
3. Twi-hards and Gleeks and whatever the followers of Bieber call themselves.
4. Children when Barney walks into a party.
5. Children whose $250M-net worth dad dies on a non-estate tax year.
6. Baseball bloggers when a 13-12 pitcher deservedly wins the Cy Young.
7. Beatle-mania.
8. Drunks when the pizza guy shows up.
9. People at a bachelor party when the stripper shows up.
10. Drunks at a bachelor party when the stripper shows up with pizza.
And yes, I know Oprah's favorite things overreaction spectacular has been spoofed before, but it's difficult to make a parody when you're underselling the original.
Update: Holy crap, someone made a tumblr. This is going to replace the whale in my nightmares.
1 comment:
Pretty sure those are just pictures of people attending a Bills game.
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