Obama took an elbow to the face this weekend during a "friendly" basketball game. This provoked massive bleeding, and required no less than a dozen stitches to fix.
While I am a firm advocate of the "No blood, no foul," rule, I have to admit it has its limits. And one of those limits should absolutely be when you're playing the leader of the free world.
For one, now our enemies know that Obama can bleed. Ergo, he is human. While the sight of his blood must no doubt disappoint those in the religious right who were sure he was the Antichrist --from whose wounds only a dark ichor can flow -- what this means for national security is a disaster. If Brobama can bleed, then we can fall. A massive vulnerability has been exposed.
Second, I'd be terrified because I'd be forever marked as the man who made the president bleed. Remember in elementary school, when the guy who took down the bully instantly became the top dog? And then others would circle the wagons, eager to take him down and assume the position of King Kong of Badass Mountain?
Well, this guy took down a president. Because of the unassailable logic of the transitive property, taking down the man who took down the president has become the most coveted act of the holiday season. Now everywhere he goes, anyone with a working elbow and delusions of grandeur will stalk him, eager for the opportunity to strike hard to the face and watch him fall.
And we all know what will happen next. That person will become marked, and the tango will begin again. And someone will take him down, and then someone else will take that person down, and so on and so on ad infinitum until every alpha male in America has enjoyed their fleeting reign as the Deadliest Elbow this side of the Potomac.
So now we face dual threats, both from outside and within our borders. It is the beginning of the end, and all because someone refused to be the Washington Generals to the Executive Globetrotters.
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