Three Jews and a Mexican: The Cast

Of course no story is complete without a cast of characters. Names have been slightly changed to protect the innocent-until-proven-guilty.

Alan would trespass on a pool in Memphis, where, tipsy off Virginia wine, he would suffer a catastrophic injury to his left arm. He was tipsy because he wanted to forget the fact that he was the unwilling witness to a middle-aged lady’s flashing him at a minor league baseball game.

Dustin would pitch a hissy after dropping his Chick-Fil-A sandwich at a Jiffy Lube, terrifying Wendy, a single mother of two, who had the misfortune of sitting across from him at the moment and was almost nailed by the sunglasses he flung against the wall. Predictably, he earned a parking ticket on the trip.

Moldman became lost numerous times and single-handedly almost caused the evacuation of the entire Tropicana casino. He also spilled the biggest glass of water anyone has ever seen, almost drowning an immigrant waitress from Russia.

Charlie woke up at some point in a Medium-Security Federal Prison in West Texas. He was later attacked by cougars at the Bellagio. He did not survive.

These individuals spent upwards of two weeks in a car and cramped motel rooms with each other. Inexplicably, they like each other more now than they did then.

You have four chances to guess who the Goy is and the first three don’t count.