Tuesday, January 18, 2011

This Is How You're Fat

I'd be remiss if I let the day come to a close without mentioning a terrific new Tumblr entitled This is How You're Fat.

This new site is not to be confused by the nauseating This is Why You're Fat -- which remains to this day the single greatest motivator to get to the gym as fast as your chubby little legs can carry you. In fact, I'd recommend that you not click through to the link, as science has proved that merely looking at the photographs there is enough to kickstart deep vein thrombosis along with early onset diabetes at the same time.

Instead, This is How You're Fat imagines what would happen if celebrities, both living and dead, had themselves a bad day and took but one or two bites from the aforementioned food stuffs.

It is quite effective nightmare fuel, as evinced by Fatgelina, Fat Gaga, and Biggie Smalls Fat Kanye. It's a blog that is not afraid to consider a world where Gandhi found an alternate means of protest. But how can it be afraid, when it has Fat Walken on its side? A Walken that neither drowned in the bucket or cream nor churned it into butter, but that drank that entire bucket until it was all gone.

Sadly, these are not real pictures, but merely confections using some sort of warping technology that finally answers the question, Does the camera really add ten pounds?

In this case, the answer is No. It adds fifty. At least.

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