Taco Bell is reportedly being sued for claiming that its meat is Beef, even though it is only actually 35 percent beef and 65 percent other stuff.
I have never heard a more preposterous argument in my life. One look at this slop should be enough to communicate to any rational being that nowhere in this miasma of barely edible substances is there anything that even remotely resembles beef.
I might be bending the Assumption of Risk doctrine a little bit here, but shouldn't you get what's coming to you if you choose to poison yourself with the abominations served at Taco Bell? People surprised that it is not in fact beef are the same people who hit on a woman with large hands and an adam's apple and feel tricked when they later find the surprise.
So I have to admit the lawsuit will go nowhere (I'd actually sue them for impersonating an outstanding cuisine and attempting to kill it). However -- and here is where the weapon comes in -- the existence of this frivolous lawsuit did force the company to reveal to the mainstream media the ingredients it uses in what it optimistically calls "meat."
Even though Taco Bell had apparently already listed this information on its website before this lawsuit, the current rash of stories about the pending litigation has put this list out there, for which I'm eternally grateful.
Why? Because now every time somebody tried to convince others to go to a Taco Bell, I can be the guy who goes, "Actually, 65 percent of the food there consists of 'water, wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodrextrin, anti-dusting agent and modified corn starch.'"
Yeah, I know. If I said that to my friends, I'd want to punch myself in the face too.
But at least that's better than eating Taco F$%@ing Bell.
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