And now it seems I'll never have the chance to be a hero.
Lawmakers in NY and other states are conspiring to put an end to people using earphones on the street, claiming that the symphony in their ears distracts them from the symphony of car horns and screeching tires that came so close to meeting them head-first.
Under the new laws, you'd draw fines for attempting to cross the street with your earphones on. The NYT begins succintly:
Many joggers don earbuds and listen to music to distract themselves from the rigors of running. But might the Black Eyed Peas or Rihanna distract them so much that they jog into traffic?
This lede is misleading. If someone gets hit by a car while they're listening to the Black Eyed Peas, my first thought is not that they got hit because they were distracted, but rather that they sadly hurled themselves into oncoming traffic to achieve sweet, silent oblivion.
But I digress. These laws, as Ron Swanson would say, are just another example of legislators attempting to save people from themselves. It belongs in the same category of other ordinances, like forcing bicyclists to wear helmets, drivers to secure their seatbelts, and couples to use condoms.
(Wait ... what? ... it's not actually a law ... really? ... OH SCORE)
Still, if laws like this staunch the flood of idiots into both hospital emergency rooms and the pages of the Darwin Awards, then why not forge ahead. When people won't do the smart thing willingly, threatening them with fines is an effective alternative to get your point across.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to lobby my Congressman to pass a law against stopping abruptly while on the sidewalk.
1 comment:
That's an absurd law. I specifically purchased headphones for running that sit outside my ears and don't block any noise from outside - I'd be pretty pissed if I got a fine for wearing them, particularly since I often hold conversations while wearing them. Just let the other idiots kill themselves off, as you say, Darwin-style.
Post a Comment