The Sun Office

On last week's episode of The Office, we learned that Andy Bernard was an opinion columnist at The Cornell Daily Sun. This was at Cornell.



I was also an opinion columnist for The Sun when I was in college. Additionally, for a few short months I was put in charge of the opinion section, even though I could barely read and write. Part of my job as an editor was to occasionally stop drinking so that I could hire columnists and assign them to a schedule.

I must admit that a column titled "Bernard's Regards" would earn strong consideration based solely on its outstanding command of the virtually compulsory "Use Your Name as a Pun" rule for choosing your college newspaper column's moniker.

However, assigning a daily column to anyone -- especially a freshman -- would be out of the question. This would be a colossal mistake, on par with past mistakes such as hammer fights near the new computers and installing a basketball hoop that overlooked the parking lot where cars with windshields were supposed to park.

As to the Nard Dog's decision to squander an opportunity at a Sun editorship in favor of a spot on an all-male a capella group, I can only say the following: Yes, a capella singers probably got laid more. But they are a direct cause of the inexplicable popularity of the awful show Glee, and that is an unmitigated evil that cannot be overlooked, much less forgiven. May God have mercy on your soul.