Monday, February 22, 2010

You Can Call Me Aaron Burr

Today, I was assigned to a case which is scheduled for a jury trial on March 23rd.

That's right, in a month I will be trying a case in front of an actual jury. Good Lord.

Provided, of course, it doesn't plead out. Or the defense attorney has a cold. Or I get hit by a bus.

Anyway, the case involves a guy who was in a movie theater. He was being loud, so people told him to shut up. He did not. So, of course, fight.

While I am obliged to prosecute this guy to the fullest extent of my statutory powers, I must say I have some sympathy for him. After all, if I was forced to watch Valentine's Day, I'd also become violent.

As a bonus, while doing research for the case, I came across the Dueling statute in the Massachusetts General Laws. Behold:
An inhabitant or resident of this commonwealth who, by previous appointment or engagement made within the same, fights a duel outside its jurisdiction, and in so doing inflicts a mortal wound upon a person whereof he dies within the commonwealth shall be guilty of murder within this commonwealth, and may be indicted, tried and convicted in the county where the death occurs.
If I'm reading that correctly, it's only illegal if we set up the duel here in Massachusetts and then have it in another state, and then the loser manages to crawl back across the border to perish in Massachusetts.

So what say you, Marc? Should we move it to New Hampshire?

1 comment:

Marc said...

Sadly, I left my dueling shoes in California. And on a side note, I'm pretty sure you could argue that statute violates both Articles 4 and 6 of the Constitution.

More importantly, I'm going to need the address of the courthouse, the time the trial starts, and the name of a local catering service.