It's Always Sunny in New Otherton

Last night's Lost was perhaps an underwhelming episode, but that's fine, especially when compared to the season premiere. You can't be sprinting the whole time. Trust me, I know. After those first twenty feet, we all need to slow down ...

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled recap:

Mac: Mac from Always Sunny makes a return appearance. If you missed his three minutes on Lost a few seasons ago, he's a dim-witted guard who lets Kate escape. Glad to see he's made some strides. Playing true to form, Island Mac kind of sees himself as the sheriff in the context of the group, with poor results. Presumably, he also runs Paddy's Pub inside the temple.

Kate: This was most definitely a Kate episode. These are never the best episodes -- they feature much running and melodrama and dramatic pronouncements. If Sayid episodes were re-fried James Bond, and Hurley episodes were Cheech and Chong comedies, Kate episodes would be telenovelas sponsored by Women's Fitness.

In any case, Kate teams up with Claire so they can accomplish the contradictory goals of escaping and having a baby. Thelma and Louise Claire and Kate are always a good pair to see running around wreaking havoc. Perhaps there was a spark between them, perhaps it is just my wishful adolescent mind.

Meanwhile, Island Kate did what she does best -- follow someone into the jungle. (Take one drink). Following Sawyer -- after intensely eye-f*&@ing Jack -- was an interesting move, prompted either by concern for her friend or because seeing someone wallowing in grief turns her on. Perhaps a little bit of both.

Sawyer: Today we learned that Sawyer was going to propose to Juliet, before dramatically casting the engagement ring back to the ocean to return from whence it came.

It seems Sawyer is morphing back into the caustic jackass from Season 1, shedding his still-kind-of-a-jackass-but-also-a-well-adjusted-leader persona cultivated in the last couple of seasons. It's really a shame -- Sawyer has really come into his own and features perhaps the most dramatic character arc on the show. But seeing your soon-to-be-fiancee fall into a hole and blow up a nuclear weapon will piss anyone off.

Hurley: He got to scream, "Dude! You're alive!" again. This has happened several times over the course of the show. In fact, at this point it should be a drinking rule.

Sayid: So is he alive? Dead? Neither? Hurley asks him, helpfully, if he is a zombie. And Sayid says no. But, as we learned from Dogen, Sayid is infected with a "darkness" within him, and once it reaches Sayid's heart, our torturing, child-shooting genuine-I-raqi will no longer be himself. So this is kind of like a zombie bite, and Hurley was right. In this case, can we expect him to be shot in the head like a zombie movie cliche in the near future? (That ain't your daddy anymore, that's a zombie so SHOOT IT).

By the way, has Sayid ever smiled? Like, ever? I think he almost made it this episode when Hurley called him a zombie but didn't quite make it. If Lost were a drinking game, Sayid smiles would totally be a FINISH YOUR DRINK rule.

Claire: Baby mama drama! Sideways Claire is indeed very pregnant, and still about to give up the child for adoption. In a twist everybody saw coming, forces conspire to make sure she does not give the baby up for adoption. And so Claire is forced to resort to a still-sketchy Dr. Ethan (wtf) to have the baby, if not today, perhaps tomorrow.

Back on the island, Claire disappeared for a whole season and has gone feral. God knows where she got that gun or if this is even Claire at all -- as Dogen helpfully explained, Claire is suffering from the same infection as the rapidly zombifying Sayid.

Also, apparently having a baby on the island means that you have to become a crazy jungle woman.

Jack: If Jack were a lawyer, and he was a prosecutor in a murder case, he would question the defendant in the following way:

Jack: Did you murder him?
Defendant: No.
Jack: DID YOU MURDER HIM?
Defendant: No.
Jack: Tell me that you murdered him!
Defendant: No.
Jack: (Picks up gun marked as Exhibit 1. Shoots himself in the head).

Jin & Sun: Nothing much happened here, except they'll probably be reunited soon. Just like in every season.

Dogen & Lennon: They lead the Others. But are they the Others? Or are they other Others? I always thought the Others were the people Ben and Juliet were with. Perhaps everyone who is neither a castaway nor died with the Dharma initiative is all part of the same commune and these Others who live in the temple and walk around with bare feet are just the crunchier granola cousins. Or perhaps they are another completely unaffiliated group. At the very least, they're not out usual brand of Other. They are other Others. Let's just call them Anothers.

In any case, Dogen & Lennon are the leaders of the Anothers. Dogen, otherwise known as the pirate Mr. Miyagi, only speaks English when he absolutely has to, like Sammy Sosa or the LLMs. Lennon's job, therefore, is only marginally useful. He's like a parrot that looks like John Lennon.

Misc: Arzt continues to inconvenience anyone. If you remember, this is the fat annoying guy who blew himself up with dynamite way back in Season 1. I sure hope he explodes in the sideflash world. Miles did not have much to do. Ben, Alpert, and the Locke-ness Monster (as EW charmingly calls him) were MIA this episode. Which happens.

As a parting note, let me say this: I really hope that at some point, in the background, we see Dennis, Charlie and Dee as Anothers. Also, if the smoke monster were wearing Kitten Mittons, it would easily kill twice as many people.