The Last Ten Years

If you are reading this, then our computers have not died and the Y2K virus was nothing but a --

What?

Oh, that was last decade?

Apologies. Much like an odometer, it seems to me that everything that ends in 9 and turns back to 0 should be accompanied by some sort of defining event. Is it too much to ask for some sort of explosion?

Perhaps it is. Unfortunately, the Mayans chose not to conform and instead will come back to end the world on the very non-round-numberish year 2012.

Whether we like it or not, those lucky enough to be around my age have to say that, for better or worse, the preceding decade was when we came of age. I will not hazard a guess as to the implications of this -- none of us will know just how much growing up in this particular decade has affected us until the time comes when we are put in charge of this whole affair.

What we can do, however, is describe the environment that surrounded us. If coming of age in the 20s was like growing up in a musical orphanage with a sugar daddy looking out for us, and coming of age in the 50s was like growing up in a nice suburban home with a nuclear family where people did actually ring their neighbor's door for a cup of sugar, then surely we can characterize the 00s in a similar manner.

Therefore, I humbly propose that coming of age in the 00s was like growing up in an insane asylum where everyone was frightened all the time despite not paying attention to anything for more than two minutes at a stretch. Perhaps that would explain the constant screaming. And the fires.

In fact, if this decade had been a verse in Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire," good old Billy would be crying before he got to the chorus, terrified and in the fetal position.

But look at it this way: we have nowhere to go but up, right?

So here's hoping that 2010 and the decade beyond treat everyone well. With some luck, we might still avoid the zombie apocalypse.