J in my Pantalones

This is the true story of what happens when a Canadian teacher faces a bunch of Mexican middle schoolers who have seen this video. At least, I hope they've seen the video.

Also, Mom, please don't ask what this is or look it up. Just don't pay attention to it. Trust me. Keep walking. There's nothing to see here.

So Friday afternoon my grade eights are coming into the classroom, they sit down start talking, etc, and all of a sudden I hear a lovely little girl yell "HEY PACO! JIZZ IN MY PANTS!!!" oh yes... I kid you not... this is how the following ten minutes ensued.

Me: Excuse me Eugenia? What did you just say?

Eugenia: It's just a joke between us Miss, don't worry.

Me: Eugenia, that's not really something you want to be yelling to a boy.

Eugenia: But Miss, it's just a joke, and it's nothing bad

Me: Eugenia, do you know what that means?

Eugenia: No...not really. Isn't it when you pee in your pants?

Me: oh dear... no, no it's not.

Eugenia: Well what does it mean then?

Me: ummm.... I don't think I can tell you...

Meanwhile, other students are coming into the classroom...

Mariana: Miss, what's wrong? You look a little freaked out...

Me: Oh don't worry Mariana, I'm just a little shocked

Eugenia: Mariana, do you know what "jizz" means?

Mariana: Jizz in my pants!!!!

Me: oh no...please stop

Mariana: what does it mean?

Me: THIS IS NOT MY JOB!!!!

Mayerling: JIZZ!!

ALL BOYS: laughing HYSTERICALLY!!!!!

So now my entire class is in the room and in on the conversation...

Girls: MIIIISS!!! You HAVE to tell us!

Me: I can't....

Girls: Why Miss??

Me: I just can't.... I can't have you sitting at the dinner table with your family saying "guess what I learned in choir today!!!"

Girls: But Miss, we'll keep saying it if we don't know how bad it is.

Me: Trust me, it's bad. It's not something that you want to be yelling to a boy. Or anyone for that matter.

Boys: Insane laughter. They can't even control themselves anymore.

Mariana: I know!!! GOOGLE IMAGE IT!!!

Me: OH GOD! NO!!! DON'T!!!

Boys: YES!!! Google Image it!!

Me: NO!!! Trust me, don't do it! Ask your older siblings or something. Ask your mother. Don't google image it!

Girls: Why miss? It will teach us.

Me: NO!!! Trust me! You don't want to see it!

Boys: (now cannot even speak. rolling around on the floor laughing.)

Girls: Well have you ever google imaged it Miss?

Me: Of COURSE NOT!!!!

Girls: Well then how do you know what it looks like and that we don't want to see it?

Me: I...I....I just know. DON'T DO IT!

Girls: uh oh Miss....

Me: We are DONE! No more talk on this subject!!!

Girls: MIIIIISS!!! TELL US!!! OR ELSE WE WILL GOOGLE IMAGE IT IN FRONT OF OUR PARENTS!!!

Me: please don't... oh no....

Boys: Just tell them Miiss...

Girls: ya...or else we'll keep saying it. Jizz...jizz..jizz..

Boys: jizz, jizz, jizz...

Boys and Girls (getting increasingly lounder): Jizz, jizz, jizz, Jizz, JIZZ, JIZZ, JIZZ (etc...)

That was my Friday afternoon. Adventures in middle school....

My favorite part? The only thing the boys in the class do is laugh.