The Ballad of a Mexican and his A-hole Coach

Every other Monday, Deadspin runs a feature called "A-hole Coach Digest." It is exactly what it sounds like. It is a collection of stories that readers send in, each hoping to one-up the other.

I humbly submitted a story about an A-hole Coach. Lo and behold, it was published in this week's installment, aptly headlined: Mexican Bicycle Chain Edition.

My own story is the fourth one, and bears the title, "Mexican Coaches: EXTRA SPICY!" (n.b. I did not pick this title). It is a charming story about a soccer team, a crazy coach, and being chased and hit with a bicycle chain. It is all 100 percent true. Even now I cannot see a bicycle without the fear settling in. Some nights, I still wake up screaming.

A word of caution. In this edition of A-hole Coach Digest, another writer appears with a story. That writer? The Mexican variation of my name. For a second, I feared that schizophrenia had set in and that the Mexican side of my identity had finally split from the other side. But then I realized it was just someone else. But seriously, what are the odds?

This, coupled with last week's appearance in Simmons's column, makes me 2 for 2 when it comes to writing to and being published by authors at major sports websites. So yes, I'm kind of a big deal.

I expected to be famous some day, but this is all really happening too fast.

Now where are the paparazzi?