Quote of the Day V

I know... you're right. I'm so sorry, I fuckin' hate this job. I don't want to be the one to pass judgment, decide who gets in. Shit makes me sick to my stomach. I get the runs from the stress. It's not cause you're not hot. I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in cause you're old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth. You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a midget in the crowd.

-- Knocked Up Doorman