Orientation? Orient me to the nearest beer!

Well-placed sources inform me that, once again, it is Orientation time back at the old Cornell. Right now, the class of 2012 is sitting amongst piles of boxes, holding a map upside down, wondering what the hell Willard Straight is.

I remember way back when, when Orientation used to be fun. First night of Orientation, me and my roommate walked down to Collegetown and it was like Mardi Gras. Up and down College Ave., it seemed every house was having a party. And every party spilled into the next house, and drunk people happily surfed the crowd, using kegs like way stations, and everyone was happy to see each other, and we freshman, wide-eyed, were getting a first-hand, sloppy lesson in what woo! college! was all about.

And then the lovely hamlet of Collegetown turned into a police state. The Ithaca Police Gestapo, it seems, believed that their job was no longer to stop us from killing each other, but from yelling at each other. Each successive year, from sophomore to junior to senior, saw the streets of Ithaca grow quiet, and then finally still. Finding a party was like trying to find a speakeasy. Drinking on your porch? Verboten! Watching the incipient college football season? Verboten! Ringing a doorbell past the hour of 7 p.m. on a Summer Evening? Verboten!

I am not exaggerating. I remember Senior year, I was sitting on a porch with some friends. It couldn't have been more than three or four people. No music, no ruckus, just talking softly about something or other. And then up comes Barney Fife in his police cruiser and, using a megaphone, tells us to go inside or else we get booked for a noise violation.

I understand that police need to patrol for safety and "keeping the peace." But that means keeping people from jumping off roofs and/or stabbing each other. What's wrong with college kids playing beer pong on their porch? I mean, classes haven't even started yet. Those who live in Collegetown know it will be noisy, especially when the seniors from Alpha Alpha move in across the street. You assume the risk, which, in my opinion, is the whole point of college anyway.