Apparently you cannot bring booze to a booze cruise.
Who knew?
Trying to sneak in a fifth of Jack turned out to be a fruitless endeavor. In fact, it ended up being a negative result, as the bottle was confiscated and has now probably been consumed by the very large security guy who is an enemy to good, wholesome fun.
Where did I "hide" the bottle of Jack? Unlike other people who stuff them down the front of their pants (admittedly, that worked), I stuffed it down the back of my pants, so that it lay cradled in the small of my back. The farthest you can get from the sides, right? Well, sunnuvabitch found it.
Such a thorough pat-down has likely never been seen. They do less invasive searches than airport screeners. All they needed was an x-ray machine, a pack of dogs, and an aversion to efficiency to turn the dock into the customs line at JFK.
Alas.
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