Out to Lunch

You know what we haven't seen lately? Law students wildly overreacting. Let's try and find one; it shouldn't be difficult.

Bingo!

A note appeared at a BU Law bulletin board setting forth the following terms (sic):

"To the asshole who stole my food this Friday ... Go to hell! ... You will die soon! ... When you eating food you will get choked and die immediately! When you sleeping, you will get burned and die immediately!"

Because it is law school, it seems that stealing someone's food is grounds for homicide. This is, of course, an excellent example of an overreaction.

Perhaps it is fitting that this occurred at the school that gave us the textbook definition of overreaction, where a student government election led to the bloodiest comment war Facebook has ever seen, the defriending of dozens, and a self-imposed exile.

So it should be no surprise that this has happened here.

The note shows a marginal command of the English language, a poor grasp of syntax, and an inexplicable aversion to complete sentences. This, of course, means the author is an LLM. So we shouldn't be surprised that he doesn't realize that the fridges get cleaned out on Fridays. On the other hand, we should really commend him for assimilating that part of U.S. Culture that thinks that all problems should be solved via the leaving of anonymous notes.

But to be fair, I can understand this guy's pain. His lunch got taken. This means he now has to go to the abominable GSU, fight his way through the hordes of freshman who just stay in one place and spin around in slow circles, and wait twenty minutes so the only place that's open will give him the wrong sandwich. If I'm already stuck in the law tower, which is awful, and have to go to the GSU, which is worse, because of a thief, I'd be pretty upset too.

And look, I shouldn't really be the one to talk. If you try to steal one of my fries, I will pin your hand to the table using my fork. I'm trying to picture what I would do if you tried to steal my whole lunch, but all I can see is a red haze.

So I understand. Unless it is funny, violence is not cool. But you mess with a man's food, you deal with the consequences. To paraphrase the immortal words of Chris Rock, I'm not saying he should have left the note, but I understand.