Brave New World

Tonight we get a baseball game that is one that -- were it not for their largely self-aggrandizing fan bases -- no one would care about. Except for one thing.

It's Opening Day.

Opening Day is perhaps my favorite day of the year and, once again like death and taxes, it has finally arrived.

So on Opening Day I am more than happy to put up with Joe Morgan and Jon Miller -- a.k.a. Dumb and Dumber -- and the bloviations attendant to the Most Historic and Important and Transcendent Rivalry of All Time Ever.

Why? Because baseball is back, finally. And that's just terrific.

The real treat, however, is tomorrow, where we get a smorgasbord of games throughout the day. This will repeat itself essentially every day for the next six months and I couldn't be happier. Finally, it's back.

This year, the Braves -- who much to my chagrin have been largely inconsequential for a handful of years now -- are fielding their strongest team in years. Even then, Atlanta will have difficulty climbing over obstacles like the following teams:

In my opinion, the Phillies downgraded in going from the lefty Cliff Lee to the righty Roy Halladay. But that's like when Justin Timberlake dumped Scarlett Johansson for Jessica Biel. It's still an amazing team, and all us division rivals can do is order another scotch and wonder what Lindsay Lohan is up to these days.

The New York Rent-a-Mercenary Yankees are, again, the class of baseball, as their fans will no doubt remind everyone else on a daily basis. But they're old, A-Rod and Tex hate each other, and Sabathia slowly but surely is turning into Hurley from Lost in front of our very eyes. Their window is going to close soon, even though that day can't come soon enough.

What can I say about the Red Sox? It's but a matter of time before they throw the corpses of Lowell, Ortiz, Varitek, Wakefield, Beltre and Mike Cameron out on the field with the robot they call Drew on a regular basis. Yeesh. If I was a Sox fan, though, I'd be most worried about Jonathan "One-pitch Wonder" Papelbon and his incredible shrinking command.

Other teams like the Rays and the Cardinals and the Dodgers have pretty decent teams as well, but they, like everyone else, face an uphill battle against these three. How could you not? Those teams are stacked.

Nevertheless, they have flaws. And those flaws open up things just a little, leaving enough of a chance for other, more underrated teams to sneak in and steal the show.

Like the Braves.

The Braves started their winter on a low note, trading their best pitcher (Javy Vazquez) to the Evil Team of Evil for their worst player (Melky. Yes, Melky). Yes, there's a pretty decent pitching prospect in there for Atlanta too, but he's in Single-A, which is like saying that you got a seed which has a 10 percent chance of turning into a tree.

The winter continued with the Braves picking up people off the scrap heap. These are players like Troy Glaus, Billy Wagner, and Takashi Saito. Yes, they kind of barely played last year, but (pauses to kick the tires) who knows, they look like they have one more run left in them. If they do, it's awesome. If they don't, well, I guess we'll all just crash in the desert and wander for a few days until dead.

Even with all that, however, we have reason to hope. Our lineup is finally free of the three black holes that were CF, 2B and Jeff "Everything I touch turns to Suck" Francouer, who all played entirely too many games last year and sunk the Braves into a hole they could not climb out of. Now we have a solid, if unspectacular, lineup that could easily top 800 runs scored over the course of the year.

That should be plenty for our pitching staff, which is fawesome (f*$%ing + awesome) this year. Other teams may have Front Two or even Front Three who are better than the Braves' Front Two or Three, but not by much. And if you look at the entire rotation, it is the deepest in the game. Despite starting on Opening Day, Derek Lowe is only the fourth-best starter. Kawakami at fifth is a luxury. Jurrjens is due for some regression, true, but he and Tim Hudson should post terrific numbers as the 2-3s. And the actual ace, all of 24 years old, is named Tommy Hanson and will finish in the top five for the Cy Young. Hell, put him down for 20 wins. I'll take those 10-1 odds any day of the week.

With a deep bullpen and a strong bench, I wouldn't be surprised if, barring injury, the Braves have four 15-game winners this season. That's my prediction. We have a real good shot at the wild card and an outside shot at the division.

And that's without mentioning the two X factors.

One is Bobby Cox. Now, I will bet you a beer that he'll be back managing next year. He said it's his last season, but I'll believe it when I see it. In fact, what I do believe is that Bobby Cox's fate is to fall down dead during an argument with an umpire. That said, he is 70 and maybe he means it and maybe this lights a fire under the Braves' ass to go out there and win a last one for the skipper.

The other? Jason Heyward, the putative rookie of the year and consensus best prospect in baseball. He's going to be starting at right field for the Braves and he is not even old enough to drink. The only players that young and that heralded coming up, in my memory, were the Pujolses and the A-Rods and the (older people say) Junior Griffeys. (Also the Alex Gordons, but who invited you, Captain Buzzkill?) Jason Heyward looks amazing (check out this 500-foot Home Run from three weeks ago and listen to the Ohhs and Ahhs coming from both dugouts) and he is going to be very very good for a very long time.

It's good to be a Braves fan this year is all I can say.