Yesterday's Newspaper

Over the weekend, The Cornell Daily Sun elected a new batch of editors.

I was a member of the 124th editorial board. This new one? The 128th.

That's right, with the introduction of the new batch of editors, I now have a little little little little brother in the Associate Editor lineage. I'm a fracking great-great-grandfather. Terrific.

This means that I no longer know anyone at the paper. Anyone. Four years ago, I settled nicely into middle management and helped run the place. And now, just like that, no one at that newsroom knows who I am.

In the past couple of years, I could walk into the Sun office at random, carrying a case of beer. People would go, "Oh my God, you're back!" and rush to hug the case of beer. There would be a handful of people who did not recognize me, and would wonder at this older man who brings in beer for no reason. But at least I got to see some of the kids I knew. That was nice.

Now? If I walk into the office with a case of beer, the new editors would simply assume I am a guy who got lost on the way to some engagement party or baby shower or something equally horrifying. Never mind that the press pass I swindled from the Houston Astros hangs on the Sports Wall. I'm done. The kids would relieve me of the beer, and then kindly direct me to the unemployment office.

How far along are we? The new editorial board includes the following positions: Coordinator of Brand Management, Coordinator of New Business Ventures, and, last but most bewildering, Coordinator of Online Client Management.

I understood half the words in that sentence. I'll spare you the "In my day..." musing that would only show how quickly the college newspaper world has passed me by. Instead, I'll leave you with this:

Some of these kids were born in the 90s. Good Lord. I occasionally drink Scotch that is older than some of them.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit down, stare at the horizon, and ponder.