El Regreso del Chupacabra

I thought I escaped the Chupacabra when I came to this country. It apparently decided to swim after me and perished in the waters off Montauk.

The Daily Intelligencer seems convinced that this is not a hoax. Indeed, it lacks the terrorist overtones of the Great Boston Cartoon Bomb Hoax of '07.

If the Montauk Monster (not to be confused with William Joel) is indeed real, then my path in life is clear. My childhood dreams of becoming a Ghostbuster were dashed when it became apparent that ghosts do not exist. Now, however, I can cease the lawyering and become a monsterbuster. Or, better yet, I'll commence working on a script that is a spinoff/ripoff of the 80s movies. I'll call Monsterbusters, it'll be directed by Michael Bay, have a useless cameo by Bill Murray, and star Jack Black and Will Ferrell. It will make millions, and, more importantly, allow me the creative freedom to purse my true artistic, um, pursuit: the Snakes on a Plane sequel, Bears on a Boat.

Of course, the Montauk Monster is not as scary as Groverfield, but still.