The Final Countdown

Freedom is so close I can taste it.

Tomorrow morning I will face my final final. This is the last law school exam I will ever take. Ever.

As you might imagine, I can't wait for it to be over. Everything else is done and only this final stands between me and graduation.

You ever go out, and drink a lot, and it's turning to one or two in the morning, and then some schmuck (this would usually be me) comes back with a whole pitcher of beer and plops it down on the table and everyone's like, really, you son of a bitch? You really just brought everyone another pitcher to drink?

And so everybody has to sit there for another twenty minutes, sullen and resentful. Nobody really talks, nobody is having fun any more. You can't let that pitcher go to waste, so you sit there and glare at the pitcher like it's your worst enemy, I mean, really glare, and it's a chore to finish it, but finish it you must, because nobody should ever waste beer. People go to hell for that.

That's what tomorrow's test is like. I'm glaring at this test because I don't want to do it but I have to. It's an imperfect analogy -- I would never argue that anything about law school tests even remotely approximates the fun of drinking a pitcher of beer. The opposite in fact. But the rest is true. It's time to spit on my hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

And IP seems to be the perfect venue for that. I am fully aware of the irony inherent in someone like myself taking a class that has "Intellectual" in the title. Strangely enough, I enjoyed it. Even more strangely, I kind of get it. I actually feel like I have a grasp on copyright and trademarks and all that good stuff. I feel good about this test.

Of course, now that I said that, the General Rule of Law School -- where you tank what you felt good about and destroy what you never understood -- will probably rear its ugly head and I will end up failing the course and returning next year to complete my law school education marinating in the sweet stink of failure.

I can think of no worse fate.

Pray for me.