This episode did a pretty good job of setting us up for the end, ably disposing with non-essential personnel so that we may focus on the castaways we actually care about. And without further ado.
Jacob. Alright, everyone, take a knee around the campfire so I can tell you what I probably should have told you three years ago, before you all killed each other. And then we can sing Kumbaya. It's an interesting strategy, let's see how it works out.
So the castaways are chosen because they are flawed. And they are needed because Jacob screwed up and created the smoke monster. I'm unclear now on whether the new Jacob has to protect the Island and keep the monster as the Yang to his Yin, or whether he now has to destroy the monster so that everyone might live happily ever after. If I was a candidate, I would have asked a few more questions -- what are the hours like? Vacation time? Benefits? Do I get a company car? But then again, it is hard to compete against the impulsive guy who screams, "I'LL DO IT" and jumps up before the job description is over.
So now we come to the big question. The Island protector. Who wants the job? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
I fully expected the castaways to all go "Not it!" It was like when you're sitting around with your friends drinking, and then you run out of beer, so someone has to go on a beer run.
But no. Jack eagerly takes the mantle of Beer Bitch and becomes Jacob's replacement. Mazel tov, Doctor Giggles.
Jack. Sawyer had it right when he cracked about Jack having a God-complex. Kate, however, also had it right when she pulled the "I'm asking you to shut up by saying your name in an ominous tone" card that is so effective when played by mothers and wives.
So yes, there is something selfless about Jack choosing to stay on a desert Island so that everyone else might leave and be happy. But if you think that there isn't a hint of arrogance by choosing to be the chosen one, I have some real estate overhanging the river I'd love to talk to you about.
I actually thought this was all a little too neat and tidy. Nobody argued, nobody said "think about this" (granted, that would probably not work with Jack), nobody even made a half-assed "No, dude, I'll take the check" out of courtesy, like people do at birthday dinners.
It was all so neatly packaged, that I kept expecting something to happen. When Jack was about to drink from the holy grail, I actually thought he was going to get a knife in the back. Now wouldn't that have been an awesome way for Jack to go? At the cusp of redemption, and he doesn't get to complete it? Can you imagine how completely shocking and cruel that would have been?
Instead, I imagine next episode will bring the full repercussions of this. I'm still not convinced Jack will end up as the Island's protector -- something has to happen to Jack next episode, right?
And if not to Jack, can something happen to his kid? I wish I could find it online, but does anyone remember a Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin builds a duplicator which only duplicates the good parts of you, and so a cloned Calvin comes out, except he's sickeningly good, always doing his homework, cleaning his room, and writing love songs to Susie Derkins? I can't find it online, but the good Calvin is such an insufferable bastard. Jack's son reminds me of that. Hey dad, I made breakfast. Hey dad, I have a concert tonight. Hey dad, don't be weird to mom. I hate that kid.
Also, if Jack's ex-wife doesn't turn out to be Juliet, who then goes home with Sawyer at the concert, I'll eat my hat.
Sawyer. He's really beating himself up on this one, and with good reason. The folks up at Vulture have given us a handy Sawyer Likability Index, which basically never veers off into unlikability territory.
And that's because everything Sawyer does makes sense. Even when he blew up the sub and kind of killed half his friends, it makes sense. The last time he listened to Jack the Bomb Expert, his fiancee got killed.
And even though he got it wrong, and it wracks him with guilt -- the scene where he stands at the water and watches pieces of the sub softly wash up on the shore is devastating -- you know the gears are grinding.
Why? Because Sawyer is never as quiet as he was this episode. Just one asshole comment? That ain't the Sawyer we know. He's sitting back, contemplating his options, and you just know he's going to save everyone in a blaze of glory next week. Count on it. When all is said and done, Sawyer's going to be the biggest hero on the show.
Kate. So if you have a baby, that means you probably don't want to take care of the Island, so your name gets crossed out? I don't know. Given the choice between taking care of someone else's screaming baby or living on an Island in the South Pacific where there are guns, monsters, and a lot of hot women, I'd get on that boat every day of the week.
Alpert. Is he dead? He joins Lapidus on the Dead (Maybe???) list this week. I'm not quite ready yet to ask for a minute of silence for our good friend Richard, who took one on the mouth and was flung back by the Smoke Monster. Maybe it was because he didn't walk out into the jungle with his hands up, as is his usual entrance.
I'm sure our good friend Mr. Eko was a lot tougher than Richard, but when Smokey killed the man with the Jesus stick, he had to beat the ever loving crap out of him. Human beings are tough. They go much harder than Richard did here tonight. Any other season and I'd never give him up for dead, but with one episode left, maybe he is.
Although, if that was the ageless wonder's death scene, that's kind of lame.
Ben. Unfortunately, Linus has been somewhat irrelevant this season, which has turned into an explanation of how the castaways fit into a power struggle between two demi-gods. This means that once great characters have been relegated to the background, and the Machiavellian awesomeness that is Ben Linus has been relegated to a bit part. We can probably count on one hand the number of times Linus has been on screen since his episode showcase, and that's a shame.
It seems, however, that we are finally getting a bit of the scheming Linus back, which is terrific. Last night's episode had him back in full "what the heck is his angle now?" mode, in between agreeing to help Widmore, then cornering him in a concrete bunker and bringing Smocke there, then killing Widmore, then agreeing to kill more people on behalf of Smocke. God knows what his plan is -- Linus always plays things close to the vest -- but it was a relief to see that Linus is going to play a big part in the finale.
Over on Sideways world, it was also nice to see Linus get beaten up again, as is his calling in life. More surprising was the kind of creepy teacher-turns-into-dad development. For a second, I thought crazy-jungle-lady-turned-soccer-mom Rousseau and Dr. Linus were going to go at it in the kitchen while Alex worked on her algebra homework twenty feet away, but the producers cut away just in time.
Also, can we give props to Emerson for killing it again this week? I can't choose between his reaction to standing on Alex's grave, his reaction to learning that he was a father figure to Sideways Alex, or his completely terrified face and posture when he sat on the porch to wait for Smocke as his stand-out moments of the episode. But this guy can bring it.
Oh. And Linus also has something hidden in the closet, behind the suits. Eerie.
Locke. I got the impression that Smocke wants to destroy everyone and everything, not just on the Island, but everywhere.
Also, if I might invent another drinking game rule, I would add, "Smocke Ponders" to the list. Go back to the episode and count the number of times Smocke tilts his head and considers what's happening. Something about the behavior of other humans truly perplexes him, even after 2,000 years of manipulation. Mankind never fails to surprise him.
And I really hope we get a huge showdown next week, and that the show doesn't end with Desmond diving into the Hot Tub Time Machine and Smocke spontaneously exploding a la Agent Smith in the first Matrix movie.
Desmond. He turned this into an episode of Prison Break, didn't he? In between almost running over Locke again, beating the tar out of Linus (I'll see you at the parking lot!), and then breaking into a co-ed holding cell (really, LAPD? You put women next to the drunk tank?? Are you insane?), and then breaking them out via a enlightened Hurley, Desmond was on a tear this episode.
And was it just me, or did the dress that he got for Kate seem too small, even for her? I ain't complaining, but Sideways Desmond is kind of a skeeze.
How about Ana Lucia as a crooked cop? I still say $145,000 to break out three prisoners, two of whom are facing homicide charges, and one of whom can easily be accused of attempted murder, is a little on the low side. That's some bad haggling there, Rambina.
Oh, and dude, calling someone to say you found their dead father when you don't have their dead father is ice cold. And the "I'm trying to help him let go" defense won't get you out of an A&B charge. Sorry.
Claire. Oh hey, random half-sister, half-aunt who is like 10 months pregnant. We completely forgot you were living with us. And now we're going to have to clean up when your water breaks. Yayyyy. Best living arrangement. Ever.
Widmore. I thought Ben couldn't kill Widmore, that it was against the rules. I guess I was wrong. That or the rules don't matter.
We still don't know what the deal is with Charlie
I wish we could have seen more of a Linus-Widmore showdown, but that will have to do. Widmore's story in the Island world struck me as being over -- his main purpose seemed to be to bring in Desmond and microwave him to see if he could attack the Monster. So now that he did, all there was to do was wait for his comeuppance.
And now, the finale. I will confess to being a bit skeptical around the middle of the season about where this was all going, but these last few episodes (with the exception of the Goofus and Gallant one) seem to have us back on track again. In other words, I like where we are going. Let's get excited.
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