The Dying Buzz

I have called this press conference to announce that, as of three o'clock eastern standard time today, I will no longer be using Google Buzz.

(Stares at a room full of blank looks)

Oh, right. You forgot what that is.

Google Buzz was this thing that Google started in an effort to compete with Twitter and Facebook. Their engineers had a dream that, instead of posting status updates, photo albums, and links on those platforms, you would do so on Google Buzz.

Their hook was that, because it integrated your Google Contacts -- otherwise known as the people with whom you communicate the most -- and made them part of your network, you would use Buzz instead. It would be like Facebook, except you'd communicate with friends instead of "friends." They kind of really screwed it up at first, but they got a handle on it eventually and you could actually whittle the list down to the few people who you care to hear from. And who, you would hope, would want to hear from you.

In an ideal world, this would be great. It would basically be like Facebook, except without Farmville and the people you haven't seen since the third grade. Plus, Buzz was on the front page of Gmail, and 90 percent of the people I know are on Gmail 90 percent of the time. So what better way to share articles, let people know what you were up to and keep up with everyone?

Alas, this communist utopia was not to be. People were confused by Buzz in the beginning, then wary, and then it never really took off. Very, very few people use it at all anymore. It's much like a party where the guests quickly became underwhelmed and everyone left. Sure, there are still a couple of people still awkwardly hanging out by the bar, waiting for the fireworks that will never come.

Unfortunately, it is my opinion that they should just close up shop because nobody else is going to show up. Buzz is still there, languishing on your Gmail page, sadly sounding off once or twice a day like an automated whistle at a shuttered factory. Without the community, there's nothing there that you can't get on Facebook, Google Reader, or even Twitter.

And when I found out about Google Profiles (Google "[Your Name] + Google Profile" and prepare to freak out), which link to your Buzz, unless you turn them off. And that was it. The unrealizable potential of Buzz was not compelling enough to outweigh privacy concerns. So that was that.

So if you look for my stuff on Google Buzz, you will no longer find it. Although, since I'm now no longer on Buzz, you probably won't see this message.

Hmm.

Anyone with Buzz want to share this?